


Envy

by fereldanwench



Series: As Holy Does - Melisande Trevelyan [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post-Trauma, Trust, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9080278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fereldanwench/pseuds/fereldanwench
Summary: The Herald confides in Cullen regarding her experience at Therinfal Redoubt.





	

When Envy had snaked into her mind, Melisande refused to give the demon its coveted dominion. She resisted the bait it had planted in her mind, spurning the visions of her soul dissolved by a cowardly stalker and a world destroyed at her hands. She returned to Haven victorious, with her mind her own and a new army marching in her wake. The goal of finding assistance to close the Breach had been achieved. Her promise to the Inquisition was almost realized.

But the visions lingered. Sleeping already hadn't been easy since the anchor had grafted into her skin--Dreams were vivid and terrifying, propelling her out of sleep and startling her back to the waking world. The haunting illusions of a world where Envy molded the Inquisition into a perverse force only added to that struggle. When the nightmares yet again left her in sweat-dampened blankets, Melisande left the warmth of her solitary cabin, seeking solace at Haven's iced-over lake.

"You're out late."

Melisande twitched at the unexpected sound; the night patrols had kept their distance, and she didn't think anyone else kept such unusual hours. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Cullen dimly illuminated by the fusion of moonlight and the Breach. He walked slowly towards her, his hands resting awkwardly on the hilt of the sword strapped to his waist. 

"It helps me remember what I'm supposed to be doing here," Melisande replied, nodding up to the tear in the night sky.

An uneasy silence settled between them. Their last conversation had been tense--Cullen seemed to take almost personal offense at her decision to disband the Templar Order and re-brand them as soldiers of the Inquisition, but Melisande stood by her choice. Allegiance needed to be to the Inquisition first and foremost; there were already too many splits across factions and nations within their ranks. The controversy surrounding the Order would only compound further relations.

Cullen cleared his throat. "I heard what happened at Therinfal." 

"Ah." She looked down at her gloved hands. "I assume you refer to the envy demon."

He nodded solemnly. Melisande had no intention of hiding any of the events that happened at the templar's keep, but she asked Cassandra to handle that particular piece of the debriefing. Even days later, she was unsure how to articulate what she had experienced. In this moment, Melisande was inexplicably compelled to try.

"I thought that sort of thing only happened to mages," she murmured.

"Mages are always more susceptible," Cullen replied. She studied his eyes, lashes unblinking as he gazed in the distance. The Breach's green glow bounced off the ice and snow over the lake, casting eerie shadows around his weary eyes. "But it can happen to anyone."

"It's no easy feat resisting possession," he added quietly, shifting his weight.

"I had help." Melisande was still unsure what to make of the elusive... whatever Cole was. Some sort of mage, she presumed. An apostate taught magic unheard of in Circles, perhaps. His manner unnerved her, but he seemed genuine in his efforts to guide her through the traps of her Fade-consumed mind. She wasn't sure she would have succeeded without his intervention.

"Nevertheless. Even most templars are ill equipped to fend off an envy demon." 

"I've never felt so..." Melisande trailed off.

Vulnerable didn't begin to cover it. The raider assault on Ostwick that had left her face permanently scarred didn't even compare. That had just made her angry--At herself, at her family, at her attackers. That had put her on the defensive, led to her military enrollment and a devotion to strengthening Ostwick's borders. But she was never the intended target of that invasion. She was collateral damage, a naive brat at the wrong place in the wrong time.

Envy had watched her, stalked her. She could still her warped voice echoed back at her, still see the perverted shadow of herself. The demon had collected the most personal details about her and corrupted them with a malicious hunger to take her humanity. It wanted her in every capacity with a tenacious greed.

"Violated," Cullen suggested, his voice barely audible over the gentle cracking of ice.

Melisande pressed her lips together and nodded. Violated. Envy was violation incarnate. 

"It showed me things, visions of what would happen if it succeeded. How it would slowly destroy the Inquisition from within."

Cullen briefly placed his hand on her shoulder, the gesture reminding her of her commanding officer in Ostwick, and sought her gaze. 

"But it didn't succeed," Cullen said, firm but kind. 

"No," Melisande agreed. She gave him a small but resolute smile. "It didn't."

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "[underworld](http://playersofthedas.dreamwidth.org/9350.html)" at [Players of Thedas](https://playersofthedas.dreamwidth.org/9516.html).


End file.
